You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
