i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There's always time for handjobs
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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