She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
