I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
