He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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