I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
