If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
