Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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