trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I got inside last night via doggy door
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
