Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
