he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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