i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
