Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
