So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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