he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
