There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
