i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I intend to get homeless drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
