Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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