are you so shy because you have an std?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
