I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
