New invention idea: vibrating tampons
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
