the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
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Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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