Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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