We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
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I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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