she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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