She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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