I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
