dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I skipped work to stalk him.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
