Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
where am i from again
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
