if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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