question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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