would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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