Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My liver just had a heart attack.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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