She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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