Nicole vs. Life
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone signed my nipple.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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