some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
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Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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