Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
