I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
