he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i out mim tonsoeep
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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