so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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