I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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