i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
