she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
