Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
