Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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