there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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