Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
