Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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