sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize