I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
