Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
