I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
