Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
