Umm I'm too high to move.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize