R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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