I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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