don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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