Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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