She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
