Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
