Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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