I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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