He kissed a someone with a penis
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
