Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
