i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
