If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
