My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize