I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
