So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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