I am in a vortex of obligation.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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