oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
